It went by way too fast. That’s all I can think to say right now. Leaving my home for the second time is just as hard as it was the first time – which is not what I was expecting.
When I decided to go back this summer, I went in hopes of receiving some closure. In 2013, due to the circumstances, us leaving was extremely rushed. None of us received any closure in leaving, which in turn made the transition to living in the United States so much harder. We never got the chance to say goodbye.
Yet here I am, finally back, ready to say goodbye and that’s the last possible thing I can do. Instead of getting closure, I end up more attached to this country than ever before.
I haven’t driven a car in almost a month now, I haven’t had any of my instruments with me to practice, I haven’t seen my family, I don’t even sleep on my own pillow, yet I have felt more at home here in the past three weeks than I have in the past four years in Florida.
I almost feel guilty saying that, because I know Florida is where the Lord has me in this season of my life, and I really do love my life in Orlando. I love my family, friends, school, church, job, and having a starbucks just a two minute drive away, but coming here made me realise how much I feel like a fish out of water back ‘home.’ And being in Latvia, I feel like I have finally found the water and I am able to breathe easy again.
I was not expecting to leave again with the itching feeling of having unfinished business. I guess this is the Lord telling me that he is not done with me in Latvia yet. 13 years, my childhood, and a short summer trip back was not enough.
So here I am, continuing my travels, going ‘home’ in three and a half weeks, and I’m already ready to go back to my home in Latvia. I hate this uncomfortable feeling that I get with leaving, but it excites me knowing that there’s a place the Lord has given me to call home, that I know he is going to bring me back to.
Hopefully it will be a lot less than four years this time around, but I will rest in his promise that he will bring his plan for my life into fruition, whatever that may be.
Maybe Latvia is my home, or maybe this was the Lord just telling me that Orlando won’t be my home forever. Regardless, I leave with a sense of excitement for what the future holds.
See you soon, my dear Latvia.